Adoption is Partnering with Jesus [Part 2]

A post by our artist Laura Kirkland (Part 2 of 2)

We met Lucy for the first time on July 29, 2013. Sean, our oldest daughter, Zoe, and I went to China to adopt her. We were gone two weeks, returning home on August 8. While in China we were in awe of the fact that you could walk into a room in the civil affairs office and be handed the child that you had only seen in pictures for the last nine months. Just an hour later, she walked out of that building with us hand in hand, and never looked back. She knew we were her family. She embraced, trusted and loved us in a way that was authentic. On August 6, nine months from the day we had received approval to adopt her, we took an oath to say we would love Lucy as our own and never abandon her. 

That, too, was miraculous.

A few days after we returned home, we went to visit our ENT doctor to find out more about Lucy’s deafness. As it turns out, Zoe happens to have a classmate (who is also adopted) whose mother is the surgery nurse at Children’s Healthcare for our ENT. She was able to help us meet with our doctor right away (another miracle). We discovered that Lucy was in fact, profoundly deaf. She could not hear anything without the help of hearing aids. Even loud banging noises sounded very soft to her. From the first day we met her we started teaching her sign language and found she was very expressive and unbelievably smart -- it was amazing how much we could communicate! After the first few weeks with Lucy, she could say, “I … Love… YOU!” Every night, I would hold up the sign for “I love you,” and we would work on the words together --shaping her mouth, her feeling my lips with her fingers. 

After a series of tests, we discovered that Lucy was a candidate for cochlear implants. Although we saw this as yet another miracle for Lucy, we needed to gather information and make a decision quickly. Most deaf children who choose the road to listening and spoken language receive cochlear implants as early as age one. Lucy was already four years old. After your brain does not experience sound for between four and seven years, it starts to atrophy in that area and focuses energy on strengthening other areas in order to adapt. If we did decide to go the cochlear route with Lucy, it would require a lot of therapy and education before she would be able to rely on listening and spoken language to communicate.

We did our research and found that not only is there a Deaf and Hard of Hearing pre-k in our school district, but that the educators and specialists at this pre-k are incredible. In fact, the woman who would be Lucy’s teacher worked at the Atlanta Speech School for years as a coordinator, and trained instructors all over the country how to teach deaf and hard of hearing kids to listen and speak. She even authored books on the subject. 

What incredible provision for Lucy! And, just five minutes down the street from the school my other kids attend.

Lucy received her first cochlear implant on December 23, 2013 and had it activated on January 7, 2014. On the day it was activated (or turned on), Lucy had an incredible response! Not only did she demonstrate the ability to hear sounds, but she liked what she heard! We have been progressively turning up the programs over the last two months and not only can Lucy hear us speak, she is starting to speak some words herself. Miraculous. 

Watch the touching video of Lucy's Day of Activation.

Lucy’s grafting into our family has been nothing short of a miracle. It has taken some time – she has been home seven months now – but the transition went as easily as humanly possible. It truly feels like she has been with us since the beginning of our family. She is our own. Grafted in, but one of our own.

A few weeks ago, our babysitter picked Lucy up from school while I was at work.  Lucy was visibly upset that it was not me who was picking her up, so she refused to get into her car seat -- she can be strong willed at times. We were able to FaceTime so I could sign to Lucy to get into her seat and to come see me at home. She got right into her seat and buckled up. Oh, the benefits of modern technology! As soon as they arrived home, Lucy busted through the front door, ran and jumped up in my arms, looked at me and verbally said, “I… Love…. YOU!”

Our story has really just begun, but this little girl has stolen our hearts. We cannot wait to see where the path leads next.

We hope Laura’s story of adoption has inspired you and has warmed your heart as much as it did ours. Take a look at the adoption products Laura designed on our website.

Adoption is a Miracle

A post by our artist Laura Kirkland (Part 1 of 2)

When I painted the first adoption canvas for Glory Haus in January 2012, my husband, Sean, and I had just begun the adoption process. I was thrilled when Sean gave me the go ahead on his part. Adoption lingered on my heart for many years; I was always drawn to the idea. Through our involvement with cross cultural missions, and having witnessed others in our community grow their families through adoption, our eyes and hearts were set on the large number of orphans all over the world without homes. Sean often reflected on how his father had grown up in a children’s home after being orphaned at age five. His father’s circumstances gave way to serious thought about the incredible impact he could have on a child’s life -- to be welcomed into our family and embraced by parents, siblings and a whole lot of life and love. 

What I didn’t realize is that I was about to experience more than the miracle of adoption, but a whole bunch of crazy miracles piled one on top of the other. I spoke with another adoptive mother who said, “Adoption is like a moving sidewalk -- you have no idea what lies ahead, you just start somewhere and God takes control. Things begin to happen. It all unfolds in His time.” There’s no truer statement than this.

We started our adoption process with the intention to adopt from Africa. For multiple reasons, we found ourselves moving towards China instead. Due to the one child policy, coupled with the fact that value is not placed on girls or kids with special needs, many kids in China are abandoned as infants and are growing up in orphanages all over the country. We felt led to adopt a toddler girl with special needs. That’s all we knew at the time. We then chose Lifeline as our international adoption agency, and began our home study.

Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” This was fully experienced during the process of adopting our Lucy. We sensed the path laid out before us, but couldn’t see the way down it. We had some idea of the way; we attempted to figure it out. We dreamed and planned, but the Lord determined our steps. At each stage of the game, a lantern lit the path each time, revealing which way to go. God-ordained miracles, too numerous to count, guided each step along the way.

In October 2012, we were well into the home study, which involves mountains of paperwork, fingerprinting, writing biographies, and meeting with our social worker for interviews and home visits. At some point in the process, we were asked to fill out a checklist choosing which special needs you are willing to consider. You can check “yes,” “maybe,” or “will not consider” by each need. I felt very uncomfortable checking off what qualities of God’s children I was or was not willing to consider. I filled this out quickly, but left it on my desktop. I never turned it in.

Then, early one morning, I saw Lucy’s face for the first time. I requested her file, our agency sent it over and I opened it up on my phone. I saw her face, and knew she was ours. She was full of such light, had these precious little lips, and eyes that spoke to me. Lucy’s file went on to say that she was deaf. Although unable to hear, developmentally she was on target --going to school with the other children in the orphanage, enjoying educational games and playing with dolls. It went on to say that she liked to draw, and often she would appreciate her own work. Sean and I had a feeling about her. We didn’t know much about deafness, and we knew it would be a challenge. Regardless, we decided to submit a Letter of Intent to China asking if we could adopt her -- Lu Xue Chun, born Oct. 6, 2009 -- just two months before our youngest son.

As part of our Letter of Intent, we needed to include the special needs checklist that I never turned in. I looked it over and noticed the deafness category where I had checked, “will not consider.”

“In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

I am incredibly thankful that I held off on turning in that checklist. Lucy could not be a more perfect match for our family. She has a large and bright personality just like our other three kids. Parenting a child with special needs is not easy, but it has given us an incredible opportunity to grow closer to the Lord, to embrace the moments that are hard and learn what we can from each one.

Watch the beautiful video of when Laura, Sean, and their daughter went to China to adopt Lucy.

Part 2 of this blog series will be posted next week!

Making Memories at the Auburn, Alabama Game

A post by our Collegiate Director Bill:

Would it cast a bad light on my character if I said that a football game was the greatest night of my life?!

I came out of the womb orange and blue and spent many fall Saturdays growing up on the plains of Auburn, Alabama. No one loved Auburn more than my Dad, and I have great memories of spending time with him doing one of his favorite things…going nuts for Auburn. Now, it’s my daughters’ turns to experience what I did. I’m as fanatical as my dad was and I love taking my kids to Auburn games. Nothing compares, and probably never will, to what I experienced with my 14-year-old, Katie Marie, this past Saturday.

The two of us started early in the morning, not having any idea how dramatically our day would conclude. We spent the morning tailgating with two of my best friends from high school and their families. We watched ESPN College Gameday live - right in front of the stadium – and we took in one of the best Tiger Walks ever.  Finally, we went in the stadium early to make sure we saw the eagle fly, all the while hoping that Auburn could pull off the upset in what many people were calling, “The Biggest Iron Bowl Ever.” Katie Marie had never seen Auburn lose. Today would not be that day.

The game went back and forth and was filled with moments of celebration, along with moments that made us sick to our stomachs. At one point in the fourth quarter, after an Alabama 99 yard touchdown pass and another drive deep in our territory, I looked at Katie Marie and said “Game Over.” Funny…that’s just what my dad would’ve said.  

I was wrong. Auburn got the ball with one last chance and threw a dramatic touchdown pass with only 32 seconds left on the clock, setting up overtime. But Bama moved quickly in just a few plays to set up a chance to kick a 57 yard game winning field goal. Memories rushed in my head of the most miserable Iron Bowl ever - both for my dad and me - one known simply as “The Kick.” Van Tiffin kicked a 52 yard field goal on the last play of the game to beat Auburn. I’m not sure my dad ever got over that one. I’m not sure I did either…until that epic moment on Saturday night.

This would be a moment that this dad and daughter would never forget. As Bama set up for the field goal, my daughter tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Dad, what’s that guy doing in the end zone?”  Too nervous to explain, I simply said, “Just in case, babe.” Then the kick…it fell short. “That guy in the end zone” caught it and began to run…and run…and run! We jumped, we screamed, we hugged…going nuts for Auburn, just like my dad and me.  At that moment, another memory came rushing in my head of sitting in front of the radio in 1972, celebrating with my dad after the game known as “Punt, Bama, Punt!”  Now I was celebrating with my daughter after the game that will simply be known as “Kick, Bama, Kick!”

There’s nothing quite like making memories with the ones you love!

Takeaways from Molly's Trip to Haiti

“This is the best trip I’ve been on Mom,” says John Holm. He pauses and then says “well, except for maybe Disney World.”

In a very spontaneously planned trip, my eldest son and I traveled to Haiti last week. For me it was work that beckoned, for John it was a chance of a lifetime for an 11-year-old to see how another culture, one less fortunate than his, lives.

As I dug deeper into why this was John’s favorite trip yet, it was the one-on-one time with his mother – ME! That made it the best, he explained. We saw a lot of new things; we placed ourselves in some fairly uncomfortable situations, we ate dinner at the home of friends, worked on and designed some great new products for Glory Haus, drank quite a few Cokes made with REAL sugar, slept little, rode on four planes, and were HOT and dusty the whole time. All things we have done in other places, but not just John and I together, alone.  So what I realized is that in our house of three children, my children all need special time individually with their parents. They need us, their parents, to uniquely know them.

The day before I left for Haiti I had been at a birthday party where I witnessed an unbelievably tender moment between a 90-year-old grandfather, and his grown and married granddaughter. The exchange between the two left my emotions out of control. It was such a picture to me of how our Father God loves us each so personally and tenderly.

When John was recounting why this trip to Haiti was his favorite yet, I was drawn back to that tender moment and was reminded that all of us want to be known ultimately by our Father God. And the best way this Godly Love can be communicated to our children is through personal relationships with each of them. Our children want to be known deeply by their parents! Just as we want to be known by our Heavenly Father.

Although John and I witnessed life changing things, my takeaway was that as a mom of three, I need to know my children individually and do things with each individually – they crave this one-on-one time.  And in the busyness of this crazy thing called life, we can often get caught up with too much doing instead of being. As a mom, my highest calling is to nurture my boys’ hearts to be tender and for them to know all the days of their life that they are special, unique and loved.  I was reminded this week that being a Mother is a Holy Privilege!

Thank you Lord for continuing to string together events in my life that constantly remind me you love me and that you are calling out the very best in me, to love greatly, deeply and individually those around me.

Haiti, thank you for the time you gave me and John together. I am forever GRATEFUL!

-Molly Holm